Weaving

Currently Nick (my husband), works W-Su and I work Tu-Sat. It's not great. Not to mention that we only have external childcare help on Thursdays and Saturdays and so a lot of that time we are working AND taking care of a baby, which is honestly a little insane. Anyhow, we are very lucky to have the support we have and the options we have moving forward. As I have been working on Gastropod in this season, I have once again conceded to the necessity of slowing. Today, I was able to slow down and follow the flow of the day. I love days like that, where you can follow your curiosities. As mentioned in other blog posts, I always have to be moving, doing something but what I am remembering is that you can be doing something simple and slow for the sole purpose of enjoyment. So today, I sat in the backyard after dinner with my family and weaved together the dead leaves of last season's irises as I watched new growth burst from the ground and my baby laugh with her dad. I placed my creation atop the fence in hopes that a bird family would find it to nest. Today, I picked dandelions with the dream of making dandelion tea. Today, I rearranged pictures in the house to make it feel more like ours (have I mentioned we moved recently?). Today, I also did a lot of things that "had" to be done but the truth of the matter is, nothing HAS to be done...It all gets to be done. Sometime ago, I read somewhere that you spend time doing what you want to be doing whether you realize it or not; I don't always agree with this sentiment but it does intrigue me. Often I feel as if I am not doing at all what I want to be doing but the truth is if you want to be doing something badly enough you will. I also think we live in a very attention-deficit time full of distractions and an attention economy that constantly pulls us in a million directions; I also recognize that somethings have to be done that are not necessarily enjoyable tasks like wiping your child's butt, taking care of an ailing family member, working a job to pay the bills, paying the bills, etc. etc.. I digress. All this to say that it is time to start weaving the life that I want to be living while enjoying the truth of the life I am living because there is no use in wishing away today when I am spending it exactly the way I am choosing to.