Over the Rainbow

At first I was going to call this blog post, Overwhelmed/Overextended/Over It but I decided to call it Over the Rainbow instead because I am reframing. There is truth in every one of those first over statements but I am also tired of feeling that way. On one hand I am doing too much and I am ready to not be doing so much. On the other hand, I am very much moving through and there absolutely will be a rainbow on the other side. For context; I work three jobs and have a seven month old (we also moved into a new house two months ago)...Have I already told you all that? Probably. Because I can no longer remember ANYTHING. I oscillate between functioning fully and hearing crickets in my head. Also, does breastfeeding burn braincells or just calories? Either way, I suppose your brain needs calories to function...Where does the teething baby come in to play? All this to say, that despite all of these big feelings, all of the second guessing, all of the frustration, doubting, anxiety, I still showed up today. I still took time to sit with the ideas of my performance. Heck, I even moved my body. Not only that but I started to think about the crux of this piece, the scary section that makes my heart stop and I did it with grace and love and radical self compassion. I also made 6 large beautiful dried flower bouquets, 7 miniature dried flower bouquets, 12 prepacked lavender delights, packed a pick up order, ate good food, drank three bottles of water, did a handful of Pilates exercises, kept the baby alive (and from eating dried lavender stems), kept myself alive, continued to breathe, and drove myself to and from work. So yeah, you could say that I am doing okay. In fact, the fact that I am going to go paint a snail and watch ANTM with my husband says I am doing better than okay-I am living a lovely life full of laughter and joy. Grieving and gratitude can be held together and we are going to end up over, not under.