New and Old

Today marks a new event in our parenting lives-Eloise’s first day of school. Not full time big kid school, of course, she is only two…But one day a week school where she gets to play with her peers and explore social situations while I write these blog posts and attempt to polish my newsletter (which you should subscribe to if you don’t already). Anyhow, it has been 30 minutes of her gone and the house already feels different, quiet. We can’t believe we are here already and yet we are so excited for what this newness will bring for her and for our family. Still, change can be hard for everyone. Tears came as we left her in that room and we have to trust that they have been gently wiped from her face. Our baby in another space is a release of control, a surrender.

Recently, I started movement therapy. As you may know from following along on this moving, making, mothering journey of mine, my hope is to create space for new moms (dancers and non-dancers) to reconnect to their bodies postpartum through guided meditation and dance improv exercises. First, I felt like I needed to reconnect to my own body again. My body has gone through so much in the past three years: Professional ballet work, an unexpected pregnancy, an unexpected c-section, 2+ years of breastfeeding, and carrying the grief of losing my Dad… If you feel like your body has been through a lot, too, please know that you are not alone. Please trust that you are still safe. That you are still you. That there is hope and healing for how you feel and where you feel at home. Together, we can learn what it is like to feel at home with ourselves. Remember, change can be hard for everyone. Letting go of the beliefs, fears, “failures”, etc. of our bodies is complicated, a release of control, a surrender. But you, too, are home. You, too, are healing. We can do this, together.