Creative Curiosities

​This past week I had off from my jobs. This time allowed me to sit alone with my thoughts, spend much needed time resting with my family, and accomplish tasks I have been longing to complete. However, it also left me feeling weird and off kilter due to a lack of schedule. It gave me the slightest taste of what it might be like to be a stay at home parent but the experience was tainted with the truth that in 6 short days I would have to go back to my busy life full of obligations. Something else this week gave me though was the opportunity to be creative. To get curious about fascinations new and old. For example, I started this blog. I also learned so much about edible wild plants, native PA plants, and natural dye plants (something I have been wanting to do for a while). Finally, I started to think about baking again. I love to bake. It is something I don't do very often because it feels frivolous and excessive but it brings me a lot of joy. When you are in survival mode it is hard to feel curious. Being curious allows for learning but it also admits a lack of knowledge. When your body is in fight or flight, you don't have time to be curious because that makes you vulnerable. I am tired of simply surviving and hope that in this coming season I can invite more curiosity into my daily life.  I used to pride myself on being a life long learner-now I sometimes feel like I have to have all of the answers. Furthermore I feel like I have to have ALL of the answers in order to be confident. But the reality is, you can stay curious, stay teachable, and still know exactly who you are and what you want. I didn't think it was possible to do both but I am slowly realizing that what I want can change if I am willing to listen and although aspects of my being may change, I am still always going to be me. I have said it before and I will say it again: Change is constant.